Baby groups. We’ve done a lot. Swimming, baby massage, baby sensory, baby music groups, playgroups, exercise groups for mum and baby. Name a group we’ve probably done it at some point. Mostly because I’m a stay at home mum and have a husband that works long shifts. Also because I want Lucas to be around… Continue reading The struggle of baby groups

I think so often we want a simple solution for our problems. Lose a baby? Have another one. Only it isn’t that simple. Very soon after Eli died I was asked (by a Dr of all people!) when I was going to try again. So often you hear this person lost a baby but now… Continue reading A rainbow is a promise not a cure

Whenever this time of year rolls around and the sunny days come it reminds me of around this time two years ago when we first moved into our house. Time is the strangest thing. Sometimes feeling like no time at all and other times feeling like a lifetime ago. Right now those memories feel so… Continue reading Time 

One of the things that I’m so aware of since having Lucas is that he never feels second best. It’s so important that we talk about Eli and that Lucas knows about him but that our loss and our sadness doesn’t take anything away from him. He is not a replacement. He was not born… Continue reading You are not second best

Exactly two years before I was preparing to marry my best friend. The best day of my entire life followed by the best holiday. Our life as a married couple has been a little bit crazy 2 children, 1 new house, 1 dog, 1 house broken into, 2 new cars, 1 car stolen… it’s been… Continue reading October 24th 2017

 So I never actually allowed myself to think too much about after Lucas’ birth and in reality was not at all mentally prepared for it. We spent a bit of time in recovery after the c-section. Lucas was super chilled and mainly just fed the entire time. I was still in complete and utter shock… Continue reading Lucas – the early days 

I’m not sure how it’s almost been 6 months since Lucas was born. It feels like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at the same time! Looking at him now it’s so crazy that he was that little (actually not so little) baby that we first met on October 22nd. The day was ridiculously stressful.… Continue reading The birth of Lucas 

Before being a parent I felt like I really knew who I was. I felt secure. I felt confident and I really loved life. Then came my first pregnancy. It was really easy and I loved it. I woke up daily feeling like life couldn’t possibly get any better. Then August 31st came. A day… Continue reading Becoming a parent broke me

Dear Lucas, I just wanted you to know how amazing you are. It was such a tough journey to have you I don’t think I fully experienced the joy that I could have. More than anything I was so so scared of losing you. Now you are here you have changed all of my expectations… Continue reading Dear Lucas…